No matter who you are, what you look like or how you train, we all tend to have that one thing (at least) that we're insecure or nervous about.
When I first started getting healthier, I knew at the back of my mind, one day I wanted to be one of those girls who would run in public, in a sports crop without even thinking about it! Part of it was because you'd see those girls and they'd have these amazing bodies and looked so fit and healthy and I wanted to be at that level of fitness and look that good. But because I was so certain my body would never change, I just wanted to be comfortable and confident in my own body the same way these girls are.
Over time, as my health and fitness levels got better and my body did change, I did gain confidence. I could do yoga at the park in a crop and I wouldn't really care. I'd be nervous, but i'd just suck it up and do it and when I was done I'd put my shirt back on and go home.
When I went on Royale Retreat in Bali, that was the first time that I had ever worked out in front of so many people without a shirt on. And the thing is, I didn't even think about it. I never found myself worrying about whether or not I should put a shirt over my crop of what I might look like or what they might be thinking - I just did it!
I didn't actually realise it at the time but, that was it. That was the feeling, or lack of feeling, I wanted to have all along! I didn't think I would get this until a reached a point where I was much more fit than I am now, where I might have really low body fat and some amazing abs to show off.
Clearly I'm not at that stage, and maybe I never will be. But, if I'm still comfortable with how my body looks, I'm happy with how I feel and turns out, I'm even more happy that I feel this way without having some "dream body" like I used to think I needed.
That photo, right below, is crazy to me now because I didn't even think about it at the time. I took a photo with these girls and I didn't worry that I didn't have a shirt on or that my stomach was showing.
So when did I actually realise this change?
2 days ago I decided to go for a run. I got a new FlipBelt and anytime I get something new I have to try it out right away! So even though I hadn't done any serious running in about a year already - I thought, lets just get back into it.
Everything I said before about wearing bikinis and working out during Royale Retreat in crops came into my mind and it was just silly to feel like now I needed a shirt when it didn't bother me just a few weeks ago. Making that conscious decision to not wear one definitely made me a little nervous but you just need to push yourself out that door.
I went out my front door, turned on the Zombies, Run! app on my iPhone and started running. For maybe the first 3 minutes I was worried about what I might look like or who looked at me but by the time the second Zombies, Run! tape came on I just forgot all about it and focused on trying to outrun these zombies in the game!
I did 3.5Kms in 25 minutes (a year ago I would have hated myself for being this slow!) but I was proud for making it at all when I felt like dying halfway through! When I got home my first thought was how tired I was and that I should do this again in a couple of days. And it wasn't until later that I realised I completely forgot about how I looked or what I was wearing and that I was completely fine.
There was literally no reason to be scared or nervous, so yeah, I am more confident now and I love it!
Those of you who follow my snapchat would have seen the snaps about it! (Snapchat: Queenof-hearts)
Whatever you choose to wear when you're working out, it really doesn't matter. Just do what makes you comfortable and focus on your workout more than what you think other people are doing to think about you.
And whatever that insecurity is, you'll find a way to beat it and you will definitely feel amazing in the end once you do! It might take a while, it took me about 2.5 years but it might take you 2 weeks, or maybe even 20 years, but just don't give up on yourself. Just keep working on you and keep happy, positive thoughts flowing to help you.
The photo on the left was me a year ago, right before my last run - I did a 5Km with a friend and for some reason never got back into running after that! Compared with what I prefer to wear to run today, on the right.
It's not just the fact that I can wear a crop now, I'm not afraid of the colours and prints either. I loved them for a while but the thought of wearing bright colours for a run made me nervous too. It just attracts attention doesn't it? Well, like I said before, SO WHAT?!
Despite what I'm wearing, I have more confidence now it really doesn't matter what I choose to wear to run or workout as long as I feel good doing it!
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